The Open Road

Sometimes I really love the fact that I work in rural communities. They're strange, and I like that. Today, as I was driving away from the little redneck town where I work, I saw something that, at first glance, skimmed right by on the surface of normal. After a moment or two of processing, though, I realized that there was something unusual in the image.

Kind of like the hooker boot in the road.

What I saw was this: a man hitchhiking by the side of the road. Simple, yes? I mean, if I were a hitchhiker, that's where I'd be. Seems like the logical place. This man, though, was perched on the on-ramp sitting in a...wheelchair. And he was loaded down with luggage. As I said, it took me a beat to really get that, but knowing you, you'll snap right to it. He was sitting on the side of the road. In a wheelchair. With luggage.

It just begs the question: how the hell did this guy get there??! I just need to say it again--he was in a wheelchair. Who--who?--would pick up a hitchhiker in a wheelchair?! I'm not suggesting that he wasn't worthy of getting a ride, I'm just thinking about the logistics. Had I picked guy this up--which I wouldn't have, of course, because that's just not safe and I hope you wouldn't have, either--I simply couldn't have gotten his wheelchair in my car, much less the three large pieces of luggage sitting by his side. Can I say it again? Wheelchair. Luggage. I've never picked up a hitchhiker, so I'm not actually sure how it works, but in every movie I've ever seen a car comes to a quick stop about 30 feet ahead of the hitchhiker, after which said ride-seeker runs like the dickens and jumps in through the open door of the idling car before it quickly speeds away. I'm guessing no more than 7 seconds, tops.

How long would it have taken to load this guy up? I imagine someone pulling over, putting the car in park, turning off the engine, walking back to Mr. Hitchhiker, chatting with him about the directionality of his destination, unlocking the brakes on his chair, wheeling him to the car, helping him in, collapsing the chair, putting it in the trunk, returning for his luggage....oh, Lord. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

I have so many stories spinning in my head about how he got there and why. That man intrigued me. Perhaps those ruminations will show up in later blogs or, if you're lucky, they'll just go the way of most things in my little ADD-riddled head, which is poof. Stay tuned...