Oh, wait, not that. This:
I found this evil thing just as it was getting ready to crawl up my shorts last night. It was spotted by Eagle Eye Max (lower level above), who was on Snack Patrol and identified it by staring straight at it from the safety of the bed. I was sitting on the floor crocheting and suddenly noticed Max's unblinking fascination with my shorts. Looking down, I found this 14-FOOT THING WITH 4-INCH FANGS...oh, no, wait, that was the snake. Okay, I found this tiny but oh-so-weird thing about to get personal with my nether regions. As you can imagine, shrieking and flinging ensued, but through some magic I was able to capture the little bugger. And I put him in a jar. And I laughed. Because although I love almost all of God's creatures, not this one. He is OOKY, for heaven's sakes, and I think we're given a special dispensation for not loving the ooky ones. I did identify eight legs, rendering him an arachnoid, but he also had those weird antennae things and I became fascinated despite my revulsion. So he sat in that jar all night until this morning when I could decide what to do with him.
You may be happy to know I decided on relocation. I took him down to the berm (birm? burm? booooorm??) this morning and set him free while playing George Michael's "Freedom" on my iPod. The little bugger then did the oddest thing--he got in a wrestling match with what I will call a goathead, even though it wasn't a goathead but I can't remember its real name. It was a little wheaty looking thing. Anyhoo, he grappled and grappled with it, even turning over on his back in his attempt to wrest it from the ground. I, of course, laughed and called him a pussy* for not being able to lift a goathead. Hey, don't try to crawl into Wicked's pants unless she invites you; she doesn't like that. So he finally got the thing up and guess what he did?? He crawled down into the hole created by the missing goathead and then pulled it in behind him!! Somewhat clever, I must say despite my offense at his overall behavior.
Sometimes nature is just too weird for me. If there is anyone out there who can explain any of this to me, please do.
*I know, it's not a nice word, but I think it sets a tone here. And he was being a weenie.
8 comments:
I was going to comment on the fact that you probably redeemed yo' po seff wid da Lawd...then hear you go crackin wise! very good bloggo. I have no clue what that thang is, but if he had been headin up Mah shorts...I'm afraid he would TP bait.
Dat be a sun spider, chica.
From the order Solifugae, not true spiders, which are from a different order, Araneae.
How do I know this? I used to be PLAGUED with the creatures when I lived in Corrales. They can grow to ginormous proportions, like, quarter-sized. Dizzy most likely can concur . . .
check out wikipedia...in the AM.
Oh, Moi, thank you! I knew I could trust in Moi. Moi knows Stuff. Unable to wait until morning, I went to Wikipedia to find out more and strongly encourage that you do the same. It is a strangely compelling piece about the Solifugae. Here are my two favorite Wikifacts about them:
1. "As indicated by their name, Solifugae are mostly nocturnal, and seek shade during the day. It was this behaviour which led coalition soldiers in the 2003 invasion of Iraq to think these arachnids were attacking them. In reality, they were merely moving toward the newly available shade provided by the soldiers' presence. The absence of shade sends them away."
2. "Some people keep them as housepets."
But not Wicked. 'Nuff said.
Oh, and thank you, thank you for relocating him. So much better than smushing. 'Cause that just makes an oogy mess.
I decided to name him - and Sunny seemed a decent choice. I'm glad you helped Sunny find his little shady place. I often name critters - especially those I am afeared of. I am interested is why some things are "ugly" in our minds and others cute or beautiful. I did a long study of my own reactions to insect critters with a phobia therapist a few decades ago. It was so interesting to to notice that the furry caterpillar was so much less a problem than the hard shelled roach. That the June bugs that fly and smash right into your face were way worse than flies that avoid you. That SIZE MATTERS (i.e. gnats have no effect)! That even my play-dough spider - which I made myself) gave me the creeps if I put her on my leg heading UP - and my pulse would subside if I turned her the other way! Nether regions, indeed!
perhaps a new name for the blog
Hey, don't try to crawl into Wicked's pants unless she invites you; she doesn't like that.
thanks for the picture - relocating is such a noble cause you do inspire me
we are supposed to see 17 yr locust/cicada soon
from the picture, it looks as if he (or she, you know) may be singing a hymn, perhaps Amazing Grace. imagine the karmic chasm from stepping on *that*. whew!
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