Go on, guess.
Here's a clue: "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner..."
YES!! I HAVE SEEN THE WEINERMOBILE!
We were face to face, my friends, up close and personal. Just look at that shiny, two-tone, hard-to-park beauty! It screams out FUN! DELIGHT! WEINEROUS ADVENTURE!!
The first time I saw it was with my sister, who is a stuck-up ho (hi, Leezer!), at the uni-vah-sity. We stopped and parked in the Dean of Engineering's parking spot and took pictures of it with her new cell phone. The next time I encountered it, just a few days later, it was in front of Albertson's grocery store. While I was inside the store, I actually heard these words over the P.A. system: Would the weinermobile guy come to the front office, please, weinermobile guy to the front office. Hello??! It's the Weinermobile guy!
And do you know what my sources tell me?
They are looking for drivers.
In an interesting and not-too-coincidental twist of timing, I've been thinking about summer jobs lately. Usually I just do some PRN for a local rehab facility, but sometimes I dream of doing something completely unrelated to my usual gig. Something that takes me away from my usual drudgery, even if it only pays minimum wage and I have to work fifty gazillion times more hours there just to make the same money I do in my professional setting. Something that requires no forethought, no planning, no documentation, and no phone calls. Something that sets my soul free. In my dreams this is usually a book store or a liquor supply company (employee discount!), but every time I decide to apply I remember that by the time I get good and trained, it will be August and I'll just have to leave. So what's the point?
Here's the point: driving the Weinermobile could be where it's at for me. Oh, yes, I could do it. I've got a driver's license. I've got a sense of fun...somewhere in there...hibernating during these long winter months. But it will be warm this summer and I will be happy and who better is there to drive the Weinermobile??! After all, clearly it is stalking me, showing up wherever I go, taunting me with its very weinermobility. It wants me to drive it. I know.
Me and the Weinermobile, we're simpatico. Drive on, Weinermobile, drive on...I'll see you in June.
(p.s. note to readers: do you think Oscar Meyer would notice if I handed out tofu weiners instead of that nasty crap they produce?? just wondering.)
My b(r)other AJ with the adorably knobby-kneed Robert, standing in front of the WEINERMOBILE!
7 comments:
oooh I'm soo jealous! could I ride along and blow the whistle??
Bring it to Colorado! We'll camp in it and have a roast!
By the way, do tose wipers actually wrap around the windows? Very high tech!
Well, I was gonna point out the utter IRONY of a vegetemarian driving the Weinermobile, but looks like you beat Moi to it. Then again, this is 'merica, where all things are possible. Live your dream, Wicked. Live your dream.
...Stalkermobile.
even *better* for you're summer job.
aj: maybe you could get in *your* Weinermobile and i could get in *my* Weinermobile and you could drive west and i could drive east and we could meet in Amarillo. for weiners.
we could have a painting done of the meeting, just like the one of the completion of the transcontinental railway.
we could each be holding our weiners in our hands.
Post a Comment