Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Cheapass Excuse For a Blog

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments, what is it?

1. Produce: Sugar snap peas
2. Bakery: Vienna bread
3. Meat: Morningstar Bacon Strips
4. Frozen: Bag o' pasta that I can cook up in 5 minutes
5. Dry goods: Tortilla chips

Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what's in your bag?

1. Hiking boots
2. Swishy pants
3. Bathing suit

If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 4 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?

1. You're my best boy (to Max the cat)
2. Ozzie, that is not blue
3. Dickweed!! (usually screamed while driving)

So, what 4 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you probably wouldn't be in the best mood?

1. Listen to NPR on the drive to work
2. Eat something ridiculously bad for me
3. Check blogs
4. Read before bedtime

You're driving down the road, and suddenly you're hit with this sense of road rage. What 3 factors probably contributed to it?

1. Hormones
2. Hormones
3. People who ignore merge signs, rushing to the front of the line and just muscling their way in. Them, I could kill.

Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?

1. Walkies
2. Cruising the internet
3. Creative knitting
4. Reading
5. Watching Lord of the Rings

We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?

I'll skip the zoo and go to a wildlife sanctuary or animal shelter. It can rain on me all it wants to there.

You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on t.v. of your choice. You can pick 4, so what are you going to see?

1. The Vicar of Dibley
2. Alias (love you, Jennifer! smooch!)
3. The Office
4. This Old House

You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?

1. Toffee ice cream with toffee pieces covered in toffee
2. Cold Stone Creamery's Licorice (I haven't had it, but now that I know about it I'm going to rush to the closest Cold Stone and git me some! Thanks, Moi!)
3. Daiquiri Ice

Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?

1. A funky little knitted bag that holds the iPod
2. Cherry ice lip balm
3. Two note pads with random thoughts written in them
4. Expired coupons for a free piece of cake with the purchase of a 16 oz. Chai tea at Borders
5. A really outdated cell phone that looks like its been drop kicked the full length of the mall

You are at a job fair, and asked in what areas you are interested in pursuing a career. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?

1. Beach hostess
2. Philanthropist
3. Published writer
4. Greeter for big box store

If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were in high school, and inform yourself of 4 things, what would you say?

1. Sheesh, don't be so scared of everything
2. Smack that mean girl Lori in the back of the head every chance you get
3. Create your own destiny, girl!
4. Share more about your life with your mother. She wants to know.

6 comments:

h said...

Studies show that 91% of those incapable of noticing merge ahead signs suffer from brain damage as a result of exposure to NPR.

NPR also causes permanent halitosis.

moi said...

Dahlink, I'm trying to figure out: What are "swishy pants"? And I can't believe you let a coupon for a free piece of cake just languish in that bag. When you could have given it to MOI!

Doris Rose said...

Thank you, that was great fun! I love learning more stuff about the Wicked One. Beach Hostess... hmmm,I'll call ahead and check.Maybe you could score some of that Licorice Ice cream by Saturday?

A.Fanny said...

Fun! Glad to hear you skipped the zoo - nice touch.

Wicked Thistle said...

troll: Amy Goodman is watching you. And taking *notes.*

Moi: Swishy pants are what I wore when you all came over to my house the other night. They're...swishy. You know. All nylony and wide at the bottom and comfy while looking stylish. I got something on mine that night. I still don't know what it is. And about the coupon...sigh...I know.

DR: Yes, I shall start my Beach Hostessing Apprenticeship Program (BHAP) in June! In Belize! With you! Wanna join me?? You're a hostessing superstar.

a.fanny: Yeah, zoos scare me a little because I figure all those caged-up animals are due for mutiny ANY DAY NOW. Watch your backs.

Anonymous said...

now i wanna drop kick something the full length of the mall.