In a few short hours I'll be leaving a jet plane, headed directly for the MotherLand. Among the many fun things we'll be doing, a priority is getting the Queen Mum on the internet. Oh, it's been tried before, yes, but without success. You see, my father was always the computer guy; he understood how the thing worked and, when things went smelly, why they went smelly and, if he couldn't figure that out, he at least knew who to call. But then he went to the Big Internet Cafe In The Sky and took with him the knowledge and understanding and care and feeding of his computer. He left the computer itself--apparently there are spiritual laws against taking communication tools along--which has been a two-edged sword because while some aspects of it work, its ability to hook up to the internet does not.
So doggone it, we are going to figure it out. And I don't care how many servicemen have to come over to help us, WE ARE GOING TO DO THIS.
Please say your prayers, light your candles, and send technology blessings our way. 'Cause Lawd knows our ig'nornt selves don't know what the h-e-double-toothpicks we're doing.
4 comments:
whoa hey, ain't you supposed to be goned already?
queen mum says "internet my a**," if that helps any.
Cain't cha'll jus' call up thems Nerd Patrol guys who run around in them VW bugs fixin' people's computers and stuff? Then you can jus' kick back yer ol' feets and drink wine while others work for your benefit? While yor father looks down on y'all and jus' laughs and laughs?
ah, that would be the geek squad. or greek scrod, i forget which. they can *sometimes* fix a pertickler problem, *if* you lock them in with the 'pooter and withhold all cheetos until they show proofs of their answers.
otherwise, they'll generally just reformat you're hard drive and run away, leaving you with more blankness than you had before. no; they must be treated like the trained hamsters they are, if you want anything useful out of them.
i like to think father laughs harder in the first case scenario. "hamster geeks...**snort** heh heh heh."
(yes, father once owned a Dell, obviously)
What a wonderful day that will be!!! but...I shudder to think what else the Q M might run into in cyber space.
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