Join Me In My Time Machine

I know you all think daylight savings time has come and gone. But today I need you to turn back your clocks to September 4, 2008. That was the day that Zozobra, Old Man Gloom, was burned to ashes just up the hill in Santa Fe. This is the blog I meant to post that day, but better late than never, right? And while we're at it, don't cry over spilled milk. And let us not forget that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush! And who killed J.R.? All right, all right, moving on...

For those of you not from the area, let me tell you about Zozobra. Or rather, let's let Wikipedia tell you about it, because you know I'm far too lazy to come up with the words myself:

Zozobra ("Old Man Gloom") is the name of a giant marionette effigy which is built and burned every autumn during Fiestas de Santa Fe in Santa Fe, New Mexico, usually during the second week of September. As his name suggests, he embodies gloom; by burning him, people destroy the worries and troubles of the previous year in the flames. Anyone with gloom that they need to get rid of can come by the offices of the Santa Fe Reporter in the weeks leading up to the burn to drop off slips of paper with personal gloom written on them. Many people put legal papers in the gloom box as well. At the festival the papers from the gloom box are placed at Zozobra's feet to be burned alongside him.

I found this much more lively description from http://www.zozobrahistory.com/history.html:

Zozobra is a hideous but harmless fifty-foot bogeyman marionette. He is a toothless, empty-headed facade. He has no guts and doesn't have a leg to stand on. He is full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. He never wins. He moans and groans, rolls his eyes and twists his head. His mouth gapes and chomps. His arms flail about in frustration. Every year we do him in. We string him up and burn him down in ablaze of fireworks. At last, he is gone, taking with him all our troubles for another whole year. Santa Fe celebrates another victory. Viva la Fiesta! - A.W. Denninger

I love the idea of taking all one's wishes, regrets, mistakes, hopes, debts, irritations, subpoenas, to-do lists, dirty laundry, embarrassing pictures, and rejection letters and watching them curl up and disappear into the flame. Had there been, oh, say 5 people celebrating Zozobra instead of 40,000, I might just have gone up there myself. I don't like crowds, though. I can't even handle the Wal-Mart. So since my crowd phobia prevented me from joining the masses, I decided to just hold my own Zozobra here at the manse. And just in case you missed it, too, I have recreated the experience in a pictorial how-to:

First, take a piece of paper, preferably one you pulled out of the recycling bin:

Fold it in half like so:

Draw your own Mr. Speedy von Nicklaus to your liking:

Cut that baby out. You know you want to. Please don't forget the tabs; you will need this to create a two-dimensional character that can (sort of) stand on its own.

Now is the time to let all your artistic schizophrenia loose. Jazz him up. Make him perty, if you like. Draw a face that looks suspiciously like your last boss.

I like him. He looks all shadowy and dangerous.

Next, use your fire safety skills to locate an appropriate container in which to perform your pyromania:

Then LET 'ER RIP!!

I took an awesome video of the burning process--two, in fact, because there were technical issues that the fire safety team would not have approved requiring a burning, part deaux--but for the life of me I can't figure out how to get them off my camera. So never mind.

Well, there ya go--good luck in making your own creation. I hope this has been a useful life lesson in letting go of the past and all that other stuff and more stuff. If not, then at least maybe it offers a new technique in time-wasting for you. Either way, never forget that when you need a time-wasting fire setter, Wicked is your gal!