Let's just say that you decided to meet some friends last Friday for pizza. And let's just say that you chose to do this after work, so the restaurant you chose was not too far from your place of business, insomuch as an elementary school can be considered a place of business.
And let's just say that while you were there, you ran into a bajillion students from your school, and then let's just say that you revised that number to four because you tend to exaggerate.
And let's just say that on Monday, 6-year-old Steven sees you in the hall and says, "Ashley-said-she-saw-you-at-the-Pizza-Barn-and-she-said-you-were-drinking-BEER!"
And let's just say he says this in a very loud voice at the end of the day when there are lots of parents wandering the halls.
Sigh. Freakin' kids, eyeballing me while I'm out drinking.
And let's just say that while you were there, you ran into a bajillion students from your school, and then let's just say that you revised that number to four because you tend to exaggerate.
And let's just say that on Monday, 6-year-old Steven sees you in the hall and says, "Ashley-said-she-saw-you-at-the-Pizza-Barn-and-she-said-you-were-drinking-BEER!"
And let's just say he says this in a very loud voice at the end of the day when there are lots of parents wandering the halls.
Sigh. Freakin' kids, eyeballing me while I'm out drinking.
# # #
Now let's just say that even though you have a fabulous and large new television, you don't have cable or satellite or Tivo or whatever newfangled thing is currently out there, so you don't really understand the endless array of stations available for your viewing pleasure. And let's say that when you went to your newly! refurbished! gym today to Get On It with the good health program, you discovered that the machines all have individual TV screens attached to them--WITH cable!! Or satellite! Or whatever! And since you're"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""????????????????????;....................../ (please excuse; contributed by Max the cat, who has just joined us.)
Ahem. And since you're not used to the gajillion channel options (and this time you're NOT exaggerating the number), you don't know how to find Animal Planet or CNN or Dirty Jobs with the adorable Mike Rowe, so you're stuck scrolling through the channels one by one until you find something agreeable.
And then LET'S JUST SAY THAT YOU ACCIDENTALLY FOUND THIS AWESOME MOVIE, CIRCA 1978:
Ohhhh, yes! Please, please, PLEASE scroll down to the next post and watch the video. You will not be disappointed, I promise you. I only saw the last 10 minutes of the movie, but there was daring and adventurous dialogue such as:
"Are you feeling disappointed about something?"
(Long pause...) "No."
There was a monkeyman who doubled as a blind man (I did not make that up), a seeker named Corb and a place that looked like a monasterial Oz. It was super-rife with symbolism and loin cloths; the special effects were monumental, I feel sure, for the time. I think the clip below speaks for itself. I would tell you not to miss this movie, but I'm pretty sure it's unavailable at your local video store.
# # #
Now let's just say that Monday is finally over. Goodnight, Irene.
6 comments:
maybe you could tell Ashley, "my big brother *supplies* kiddies with beer, so quit yer whinin'."
andy most enjoys the belgian tripel ales.
and the man in oil scene? i seen it before, too!! only part of the movie i actually saw, but it sure stuck.
"dorky Zetan, what's he know anyway? oh, and don't forget to cut off yore pecka."
thank you, Eli.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Silent_Flute
Wuh. Wait. Did that man just comment on the fact that the other man's penis had now shrunk to the size of a "mere pimple"? YEEEWWWWWWWW!
Dude. Fuggedabout television. Let's go back to Pizza Barn, drink, and once again flout (flaunt?) our ability to do so in front of more of your students. You know how I oh so adore shocking the lil' chillrens.
P.S. Word to Belgian Ales.
aj: i knew--just KNEW--you'd have my back on this one. is there anything that escapes you? (answer: non!) and if you're wondering whether i'm talking about the beer or the oil scene, the answer is a definite, "yes."
Moi: YES! And YES! Word UP to shocking the chillrens, I say. Wanna come by school sometime? And mess with the kiddies' heads? And a note on the video--in order to comment on the size of the man's pee-pee, he first had to LOOK.
and then the old man could have called the young seeker "just a pimply faced kid."
i'm just sayin'.
video:beeezarre.
Pizza Barn: I say we vamp it up like hookers next time and terrify the little blabbiators.
Fun blob, tanks
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