Sunday, January 20, 2013

Thank You, Anonymous Posters, For Saving My Bacon

Around this house here it's the early hours of the morning.  At 8:13, not a creature is stirring, nor will one be for quite some time.  Ahh....mama gets some me-time.  I've turned the pellet stove on, fixed myself a cuppa cuppa, and have managed to convince myself that this cold in my nose is just serious enough to take myself out of the food preparation arena for the day.

I don't know about you, but I've been slammed with spam in my comments sections over the last few days. Since I've pretty much abandoned blogging, I only know this because blogspot faithfully deposits a message containing each comment in my email inbox.  It's helpful, because otherwise I would never know about my growing throng of supporters and their deep devotion to me.

To wit, there is a particularly popular post that my anonymous sweethearts have enthusiastically reacted to titled 'Your Educational Crap For Today.' Here are a few examples of their adoring praise:

"That is very fascinating. You are a very professional blogger."

"Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular article! Many thanks for sharing!" (and then I am urged to quit smoking, which is very useful advice)

"Ridiculous story there. What occurred after?"  (I'll admit it: this one's a favorite.)

"It's a shame you don't have a donate button.  I'd definitely donate to this excellent blog!" (this guy's going to share my blog with his Facebook group!  omg omg!!)

"In these untested times, we should all be wearing Ugg boots."

"I read your article and loave it."

Where else can you get that kind of good old-fashioned honesty?  We're all so afraid of putting our feelings out there, fearful of getting hurt or emotionally maimed or perhaps run over by a school bus full of 8-year-old bullies, but not my anonymous spammers.  No, they just layer on the loave, and thank goodness for that. Without them I would be an insecure, babbling mess of low self-confidence and joyless existence.  They are the most complimentary bunch of stalkers I've ever had!  I believe they're sincere when they tell me that my blog is extraordinary.  I'm sure it's true that they're having trouble subscribing to my RSS feed (I have an RSS feed?) and could I just click on this link to help a brother out?  And where else would I get savvy advice about moistening my brush before I clean my face, but making sure to put the cleanser on my face and not the brush?  I never even knew I was supposed to be washing my face with my brush!  So thank you, anonymous spammers, for all your help.  I'm a better person for it.  Mmwyah!


old man AJ said...

the important thing is that when i googled 'Your Educational Crap For Today', your (you're) page came up as the NUMBER ONE RESULT.

the other important thing was the hoehead sharks and Kittehs From My Own House.

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

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