Faith Renewed

Sometimes when you whine and complain and bitch and moan--loudly--to the universe, she responds. Usually, in my case, it is with some version of the pox, like engine trouble or a late charge on a forgotten bill or something gross from the body of a child touching me. This time, however, in a surprise twist, Mz. Universe rewarded me. Yowza.

You all know what Secret Santa is, yes? Folks pick the name of a fellow employee/friend/ski buddy/whatever and then give them gifts under a blanket of anonymity for some amount of time. After a few days of this, the blanket is thrown back with a big, fat "Surprise!" and everybody laughs and talks about how they knew it was Suzy all along and whatnot.

Well, today was the Day of the Unveiling of the Secret Santas at work. All week long my Secret Santa has been filling my mailbox with yummy treats, warm socks, and vanilla Cokes (one of which, by the by, was STOLEN from the community fridge. The gumption! The gall!). It's been lovely. I expected to find another fun package quietly awaiting me in my box in the workroom today.

But no, my pal had a different idea. A wonderful, fun, perfectly-designed-to-give-warm-fuzzies idea. This morning, whilst I was bizzy teaching a bundle of 2nd graders, an entire 4th grade class walked in. They then broke into what can only be described as a truly unique version of Jingle Bells, and at the end, the teacher--the beautiful and wonderful Anita--stepped forward and said, "I'm your Secret Santa!" And then she handed me the brightest orange, fluffiest, warmest blanket that I had ever seen. Which she had made. And I think I cried a little because it made me feel so doggone good.

Because, you see, my career in the learning industry has led me to work at a variety of schools, often all at the same time. This year, my third in this school, is the longest I have been at any one. As a result of this history of going hither and yon, I usually have a small but constant feeling of not really being a full member of my work community. I don't expect people to know when my birthday is or what my love life is like or whether I prefer red or green. And most of the time that's okay with me, because it also means that no one notices if I slip out a little early or miss a staff meeting, but sometimes my heart gets a little achey about it, too.

But not today. Today I felt very much a part of things. And you know what? That's a good thing. Being a part of a bigger picture allows us to live fully into this human life. And after having spent some gigantic amount of time whining to a friend last night about all the time that weeee spend supporting everyone eeeelse and no one eeeeever supports uuuuus and waaaaaa, I don't like it, I got smacked in the face with someone doing something very nice just to make me feel good. What a gift.

So thank you, Mz. Universe, and thank you, the wonderful Anita. You are both far better to me than I deserve. But please don't stop. Don't ever, ever stop.

Happy holidays, everyone, and a very especially happy winter solstice to you! I'll see you in 2008.