Monday, January 7, 2008

WHY Must All Good Things Come to an End? Eh? Eh?!

Ahhhhhhh...vacation is good.

And CRAP...vacation is over.

Feh.


All good things must come to an end, I suppose. As the Queen Mum is fond of reminding me, one cannot begin something new without letting go of something old. She's wise like that. But now that my winter hiatus is over, I can begin thinking and dreaming and obsessing about summer things like margaritas and toenail polish and sweat on the back of my legs as I peel them from a hot bucket seat. Having those things to look forward to will help get me through the many cold, dark days that lie between me and reasonable temperatures.

The holidays really were excellent, although I find it necessary to file a complaint with the Mayans or the Romans or whoever put together our 2007 calendar in regard to their poor planning. Christmas on a Tuesday? A Tuesday?! I think not. Christmas on a Tuesday meant that the more tyranty of employers expected their minions to show up on the 26th and work the rest of that week, doggonit. While I happily did not count myself in that group of poor sad folks, several family members had to cut time short in order to return to a cold cubicle and task lists. And that ain't right, because we all know that the fun really starts after the holiday. Before the holiday is all about buying and wrapping and checking your gift list and panicking and buying some more and forgetting the scotch tape and wondering just where in the hell you hid that bottle of wine because you need it NOW, RIGHT NOW! And after Christmas is about sitting in your jammies all day surrounded by loved ones, softly belching from the two pounds of Chex mix you ate, that bottle of vino found and stored nicely in your blood stream. Alas, that vision was not to be for everyone, and it was a real drag to have to say goodbye to people on Christmas day itself. Fortunately, though, all this nonsense will be a thing of the past the next time Christmas rolls around. Leap year gives us a little bonus, pushing the holidays two days forward instead of just one. Christmas on a Thursday? Yes!! (Picture arm pumping enthusiastically in the air.) That is right.

Now that it's now a full week into the new year, I would like to declare my resolutions. Normally, I don't make resolutions; rather, I find many, many, many, many opportunities throughout the year to reflect on the many, many, many, many ways that I could better myself. This year, though, I thought that having a few definitive goals to tackle might help mark some slow but steady progress as a human being that I was sorely lacking in last year. So hang on to your hats, readers, here they are:

1. Stay in better touch with my friends
2. Take my vitamins

That's it. If I can't do (at least) those two things, then perhaps it will be time to admit myself to a facility that can take care of me and my addled brain. Maybe the vitamins will help prevent further addling, which may also keep me out of the nuthouse for just a bit longer. Not that there's anything wrong with a nuthouse, mind you. I'm just sayin'.

So a happy new year to you all, addled or otherwise! I suspect that 2008 will offer many interesting, strange, and unexpected twists to our lives. Here's to them all!

7 comments:

moi said...

I kinda had the opposite experience with this Christmas on a Tuesday thing. I found that most everyone I work with actually took off the entire two weeks, leaving Moi stranded in a slip of tweener time, purposelessly flung queries returned to sender as ghostly echoes, mocking my willingness to do something, anything, other than sit on the sofa contemplating yet another cookie. So now, when everyone else is ready to work, Moi not so much. Once I grind down, I have an awfully hard time gearing back up. Which doesn't bode well for the Spring 2008 shoe fund (much less the – gasp! – mortgage) at all.

Anonymous said...

you might have made one, or possibly two, resolutions too many.

when AJ yearns for self betterment, he simply whacks himself with something containing any sort of useful drug. alkyhol, caffeine, codeine, the odd fatty, a little ibuprofen or perhaps some oil of olay.

oh, and jebus, i always give my jebus a cut of this too. we should all be very conscientious about this point, since he'll be arriving in 27 months. you don't want to be standing around then with satan's egg on you're face!

and, um, happy 2008. just think, in two years we'll all switch from saying "two thousand..." to just "twenty...". this'll be great for me, because AJ *hates* extra syllables. even more than he used to.

p.s. jebus said not for anyone to worry about the eggface, it comes right off.

*WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK* *WHACK*

Doris Rose said...

I,for one,am glad the holidays are over, but I smell what you're stepping in. A chance to spend time with loved ones is better. When the loved ones are there!
Congratulations on your resolutions, I think they are eloquent and doable... call a friend- take a pill. Presto, increased synapses!

Doris Rose said...

PS perhaps AJ might want to try that synapse building method... I think he may have whacked a few too many...

Anonymous said...

wait, if i took too many pills and whacked too many synapses, and need to take a pill to rebuild the synapses....oh, i'm confused.

maybe it's in the added action of calling a friend. "hey milo, guess what? i'm taking pills!"

oh, wait...vitamin pills. right. never mind.

~MAGILL~ said...

hope im on the list

:-)

Anonymous said...

...the task list, or the gift list?

;-]