Tit for Tat

Doris Rose is such a good sport. If you haven't already, stumble drunkenly over to her blog here and read her responses to the retirement questions. Then go to her comments section and check out what A. Fanny has to say on the subject. It was really very interesting to hear their perspectives on the matter. When I think about retirement, I hear beautiful singing in my head and get visions of nothing but happiness and joy floating around. It seems to me to be a baptism into a life without the stress and rigors that daily work places on us. I would never have anticipated a struggle with a sense of usefulness or the feelings of melancholy that might accompany it. It made me think twice about working, which, frankly, I tend to treat like a big, cranky albatross around my neck. This may not be the best attitude that one could cultivate about an activity that takes 40+ hours of one's life each week, I suppose, but there it is. It all boils down to the "have to" aspect of it. If working were a choice, maybe I'd feel a little friendlier toward it. It's just so easy to get caught up in feeling resentful and forget that a) I do have a choice about whether or not to work--after all, living under a bridge and eating from trashcans is a valid lifestyle, and b) as work goes, I'm a pretty lucky ducky gal. Indeed, while Casual Friday is well-accepted in most workplaces, not everyone can enjoy the relaxed ease of Pajama Day or the delight of Funny Hat Day.

So, I decided to turn the tables and answer the same questions that Doris Rose and A. Fanny did, with just a mild tweaking of content. I learned so much from those gals that I thought I might actually learn something about myself, too, if I dared think about it. Here goes:

1. What do you like best about working?

The feeling of accomplishment that being a Speech-Language Pathologist brings. Knowing that at the end of the day I can feel reasonably good about what I've done with (or to) the kids. The structure, without which I would do nothing but sit on my sofa and reread the same book a hundred times while eating far more snack crackers than can possibly be good for a person. The occasional realizations that I am good at what I do. Being dogpiled by a bunch of kindergartners. The flat out fun I have with my co-workers. And dangit, I like to feel smart, and work is where I feel it the most these days.

2. What about your profession has surprised you the most?

The incredible, awesome, frightening depth and breadth of the field. It seems impossible that any one person could keep all that knowledge in their head. Fortunately, there are books and the internet to help, but sometimes my head just spins and I get scared about all that I don't know. Deep breath, Wicked, deep breath...

3. How do you handle the burden of do, do, do that comes along with working? Are you ever able to shake it and just relax?

Sadly, not really. I wish with all my heart that I could just shut the office door at the end of the day and not think about it again until the next morning, but I am plagued by a small knot of work anxiety 24/7. Did I call that parent? Did I finish that paperwork? What the hell am I going to do with the preschool kids tomorrow? Can I fix the bad parenting, the lackluster teaching, the unmotivated student? What can I do?

4. What will you miss, if anything, about working once you (oh please oh please oh please) retire?

Um, nothing. Just kidding! When I'm on a break and not being assaulted by constant demands, I realize that there is much that I would miss. I love the problem-solving aspect of my work. I love the creative possibilities that exist, although, sadly, it is not easy to find the time, resources, and willing participants to make them real. I persist, perhaps foolishly, in believing that good things can happen for kids if the right people get involved. Then there are the social aspects of working--I've met most of my good friends through jobs that I've had, and I feel sure that it would be much harder to begin and maintain friendships without that ready venue. And heck, I might even miss moments such as seeing a preschooler tell another kid, "Stop it!" instead of hitting. Even if it comes out, "Ah ih!"

5. Describe one way that working has changed you.

Oy. It's a mixed bag. I definitely feel that changing careers and becoming an SLP has given me a specific career focus that I was lacking before. No more floating around, wondering what job might be interesting to take on next. Nope, I'm an SLP now, for better or worse. This sometimes makes me a little claustrophobic, but hey, let's just take a moment and think about the awesome job security I enjoy! Deep breath, Wicked, deep breath... The down side is that I have a lot more anxiety and stress than I remember having in previous professional incarnations. The kind of work that I have chosen doesn't typically allow time for coffee breaks or internet cruising or phoning a friend. Nope, the switch turns on when I walk in the building and doesn't turn off until around May 31. Perhaps I'll get better at this as time goes on.

6. What are the financial benefits of working?

I can have a house. And a car. And occasional trips to fun places.

7. Do you ever think you'll retire?

Heeeeeell, yes, I think I'll retire. That isn't necessarily based in reality, but I sure like to fantasize about it. I give money to people who invest it for me and I give money to the educational retirement board, so I have hopes that one day my ship will come in. That's how retirement works, right?

8. Do you find it difficult to be around your happy, carefree, devil-may-care retired friends?

I can't say I ever find it difficult to be around them because they are so doggone fun and clever and interesting and tolerant, but I do admit to retirement envy.

9. As you look down the road in your career, what do you think you will do?

Um, I dunno. More of the same, at least for a while. Life's too short to spend it all doing just one thing, so I wouldn't mind evolving into something different down the road. What that might be, I have no idea. But whatever it is, it will not involve going back to school, because I have had just e-NUFF of higher education.

10. What's the weirdest job you've ever had?

Given the job roster--paper girl, waitress, marion the librarian, nursing assistant, counselor of sex offenders, project director, HIV/AIDS researcher, SLP--I guess I'd have to say working in the public schools. Nobody is weirder than kids, and that's the truth.

You heard it here.