Hey. Hey! HEY!!!

Anybody remember this kid? Yeah, back in October we thought he was cute and rather heartbreakingly adorable with his little playground blues. Back then, his unbroken stream of angst--"Wobert-told-me-he-didn't-want-to-play-with-me-and-he-wasn't-my-friend-anymore-and-he-BWOKE...MY...HOT!" --nearly brought out maternal instincts in me. And that's saying something.

Today, though, he brought out an entirely different instinct. Today, he brought out my, "Come here, I wanna kick your ass" urge. Today, this clever little craphead felt, oh, a little cramped by our session. Today, he was apparently on a schedule. Today, he had the audacity to say to me, as we were waiting for our regular Tuesday afternoon group to begin:

"Why are you always stealing our time?!"

Stealing your time, little man? Stealing your time?! OH. SHUT. UP. How much time can a kindergartner have to steal, anyway?? Life is endless, there are no deadlines, no need to count the minutes ticking away while that growing ball of stress undulates in your belly. You know what, you little stinker, you don't even reach my knee, so you can just shut your tiny little piehole, now can't you?

Hmphh. One-upped by a kindergartner.

It's okay, though, because little fancypants eventually got his comeuppance, yes he did. See, 5-year-olds don't so much remember what they just did or said or thought or wanted. The little mosquito quickly forgot that he was unhappy with my time-thieving and actually started having fun with the group.

Good for him.

Wicked don't forget, though.

So when Master Pee-Pee approached her while she was teaching, for heaven's sakes, to tell her all about his new shoes, you just know what she said.

"Sit down, little poopy boy, because you are stealing my time."

And so he did. Round one goes to Wicked. Stay tuned, though--I'm telling you, this ain't over.