It happened while the Queen Mum and I were at the hospital. I was staying there with her, so I was pretty much always present for whatever was going on. I was a big help, too, saying things like, "WHOA, look at the size of that needle!" and asking the same question 32 times until I got an answer I could finally understand. Anyhoo, there I was, still in my pajamas, when the physical therapist came in to therapize my mom. Being in the industry myself, I felt that immediate kinship that comes from a shared understanding of rehabilitation. So I was busy telling her that I was a speech-language pathologist and generally impressing her with my knowledge of therapy stuff when she said, "Oh, yeah, you look like a speech therapist."
Say wha-ha-ha-HAT??!?
These words rocked my world. I was horrified and surprised by the sheer viscerociousness of my response (yep, made that word up). Something in me seized up a little. How does one go about looking like a speech-language pathologist?? I don't feel like a SLP, other than when I'm at work. I just feel like me, who is part SLP but lots of other parts, too.
This comment bothered and upset me and disturbed the fine little hospital utopia that I had created for myself. It was almost as bad as being told that I looked like a librarian on my first day on the job as a librarian.
Wait a minute. That story is true--on my very first day working at the university library in college, some yahoo riding with me in the elevator volunteered how very much I looked just like a librarian. Never mind the big glasses I was wearing. Never mind my hair up in a bun. No, sir, I do not looke like a librarian, I look like a hot college student who just happens to work at a library, and THAT IS ALL. So, um is it just me, or is anyone else seeing a pattern here? Is there something about me that causes me to take on a certain "look" depending on my job? Am I just a...morpher?
I've been doing this with accents forever. Even though I'm from Oklahoma, you'll rarely hear it in my voice unless I'm on the phone with my family. I used to share an office with someone who said she always knew when my mom called; my voice immediately reverted to the drawl of my homeland and stayed that way for at least half an hour. Heck, you should have heard me back when I worked for a Native American agency; there's nothing like a white girl saying "ya-ta-hey" in her best Navajo voice to make you laugh out loud. But it was hardly volitional; it just happened.
So now I wonder if I'm doing this with my jobs, too. The accent thing I've learned to live with; but again, and I cannot stress this too much, I do not wish to look like my job. It leaves me feeling a little pigeonholed, and Lord knows I do not like that. What if I decide that I don't want to be a SLP anymore but I can't get out? What if I go to apply for a job as a multi-millionaire but I get turned away because I can't play the role convincingly? What if a lucrative publishing company calls me and tells me they're ready to publish my as-yet-unwritten book, but then they take one look at me and burst out laughing, saying, "Oh, my dear, you'll never be anything but an SLP! It shows on your face!"
As you can see, the ramifications of this simple comment are far-reaching. Now I feel stuck, and Wicked don't like that feeling. I have no idea what to do about this, other than to pierce my tongue or grow a mustache or give myself a mohawk. Speech-language pathologists don't wear mohawks, do they?
Maybe you can help me. There's strength in numbers, after all. Do you think you resemble your profession? For instance, if you were at Disneyland, might someone point a finger at you and yell, "Oh, thank goodness, Herbert, we've finally found a _______________! We've been looking all over for one a'them!" That might possibly not be the best example, but I think you know what I mean. Let me know. And quick.
**Disclaimer: I haven't blogged in two weeks. Please excuse the rambling and incoherence.
4 comments:
Oh, oh! I vote for giving yourself a Mohawk. That would be fabulous.
Seriously, I find that therapist's comment to be very puzzling and extremely annoying and you should call her up and tell her so. I could understand, "Well, you look like a surfer." or, "Well, in that uniform, you certainly look like a cop." But otherwise, WTF?
And no. If someone saw me at Disneyland they'd most likely respond with, "Look dear, who in their right mind wears 4" high cork-heeled wedges to ride the Teacups?"
I'm for the tongue stud - cause then you could thpecializthe and work with all the little four-year-oldth who have them!
This reminds me of when my spouse and I played the parents of Anne Frank in the play. During the rehearsal weeks the director made us wear arm bands with yellow stars that said "Jude" (Jew in German). One guy came up to my spouse and asked "Are you Jewish?" We are not, but he thought about it for a second & answered "Yes." The other guy said "You look Jewish!" and walked away. So people see what they think they want to see.
Here's another idea: there's class here for actors to check out how they appear to others. I'll try to get the survey for you. You send it to your acquaintances to fill out, but then you have a friend go with you to an airport or mall - you stand around somewhere and the friend ask passers-by to give their impressions of you - ie fill out the form. Then collate it all and you will find out that you actually come across as a HOOKER, and that the therapist was just being polite!
wicked wrote:
"Something disturbing this way came."
Bradbury wrote (do read this book!) in 1962 the title:
"Something Wicked This Way Comes."
ergo: disturbing = Wicked.
is wicked taking advantage of her SLP-like appearance in a masquerade which allows her to more freely and covertly purvey her dark side? ooohhhh i hope so.
and me, i *still* look like a hooker; always did.
===================================
...By the pricking of my thumbs / Something wicked this way comes...
oh--oh--and you now have TWO votes for the mohawk.
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